IN MIDNIGHT

In midnight 
Coming to unaccessible 
City roots 
Searching tremendous 
Misunderstandings 
Where proceed from – 
Stop asking me 
Don't cry in the 
Midnight 
Don't search 
For the fate 
When everything plays 
With forgiveness 
When everything stops 
Tomorrow 
You'll be in 
Finland 
Such fate 
Tomorrow you 
Say to her 
Your name 
And everything change 
Tomorrow 
In midnight 
You will go 
And nobody knows


DONELAITIS IN HELSINKI

Donelaitis seura 
In which never been – 
Lithuanians in Helsinki – 
Me refugee from  
Lithuania 
What I will do there 
Donelaitis' society 
It sounds good 
Again I watched 
Nekrošius' "Macbeth" 
About which I wrote 
In Lithuania – 
The tragic tale 
Suggestive everywhere 
Kostas Smoriginas 
Moving high Finnish 
Line 
Makes stronger 
Vilnius' impression – 
As Graužinis'  
"Trial" 
With chess of 
Chairs 
And actors speaking 
Kafka in Swedish 
Lithuanian echoes  
Everywhere 
Strong their 
Sound 
And I meet 
Graužinis near 
"Coffee house" 
Maybe so I 
Meet  and  
Donelaitis? 


ISABELLA, THE QUEEN

                To Isabela, Lene's daughter

Isabella, the queen 
Of... Danish  Kingdom – 
She was talking on phone 
I didn't understand what. 
I liked her voice 
And Danish! 
Perhaps she told 
That her mother is off 
Or can't answer? 
Isabella, the queen – 
7 years old. 
Her voice  I remember – 
I was from other – Great L. Kingdom – 
But she  is still the queen. 
In Copenhagen –
Danish Kingdom 
Children grow! – 
Do you hear me, prince Hamlet? 
Now it's all right –
You can continue your studies in the Angelsland.


HERMANIS MARGERIS MAJEVSKIS 
LATVIAN – LITHUANIAN POET

I will always remember his tall 
Silhouette 
In the dark Vilnius' street 
In bars 
In library 
In theatre 
In concerts 
With Judita, with Giedrė, with his wife and daughter. 
I’m writing too late – 
I need to write when he was 
Alive 
When we were 
Talking 
On accidental meetings – 
I remember – he is  
Taking from his bag 
German-Lithuanian published 
R. M. Rilke 
Showing  me 
And talking about 
Translation – 
He is always talking 
About poetry – 
Not as me – 
Mostly 
About problems 
Health 
Money – 
He is about poetry – 
About Lithuanian 
And Latvian 
Poets 
Their translations 
He is eager to 
Translate Judita 
Vaičiūnaitė
I remember how 
He asks me 
How I dare 
Am not afraid 
To write about 
Estonia 
When so big difference 
Between Protestant 
And catholic symbolics 
Toad and silver light 
Image 
I am not afraid, 
I answer, 
Am not afraid – 
I am afraid only of 
Women 
Much more meetings 
And it appears to me 
I and now meet him 
In Vilnius street 
Him and Judita Vaičiūnaitė 
What sense 
Would be 
To live 
If they would not be 
Alive.


* * *

Cafe Strindberg 
In the building 
In which 
Lived his 
Finnish wife 
Stairways and elevators 
From that period 
Large windows – 
Who is now 
Sitting there? 
There is no you 
You expelled 
From Finland 
Can't return 
From it 
Connected for  
All time  
With Helsinki 
By invisible 
Ties  
Of misfortune –  
The land of refuge 
Refuge city 
For short 
Expelled from everywhere 
You have lost 
Not only her 
But and new 
City 
Northern country 
Is waiting for you 
Cannot wait 
Returning 
To close again


ALONE IN THE NIGHT IN FINLAND

Let's be all things mad. 
As foolish as... 
Let's make the very abyss of your eyes itself distinct 
That black August night – 

Let's reveal the web of vision 
Which – once caught – shall never allow us to be free of it 
Let's open the room of your hope – 
You'll find a cup of treasures within. 

Let's... Let's go! Men and women, 
Wives and children... All of us, let's go, 
Let's make love in the shadow of war. 
The threat of war – it stuns us – 

There is no consolation. Only there 
In the outskirts of sepulchral cities suspense grows. 
The last tram near Helsinki's station runs off 
And you are left to stand alone in the night in Finland.


DREAMS. NIGHT. WINTER. LIFE.

What strange dreams you are dreaming at night, 
Strange dreams of impossible possibilities, of 
unseen realities, of unexpected deaths. 
Strange dreams you are dreaming, baby, in 
the winter's night and extinction, cold and 
snow of unreality – these strange dreams: 
you see Tallinn, Oleviste's or Niguliste's church – 
and you are dreaming that you are slipping from the top down, 
alongside the walls, as if the force of 
gravity did not exist, and you are asking – is it possible I would like 
to do that. 
Strange dreams you are dreaming baby. Winter. Snow. 
Cold. Darkness of night. It is hot inside your 
soul and body. Strange dreams. And everything. 
Everlasting reality. Middle age performance, unrecognition, 
everybody forgetting your completed and published works: for 
example, translation of Lu Tchi. Wen fu, and it causes 
you pain. You can not think calmly, you are distracted 
from your main thoughts because it hurts you. 
Strange dreams at night time – in the darkness of night – loneliness – 
and winter, everything hurts you, you are seeking 
some refuge, but where? Maybe in the word only: belief. 
Work is not helping because you feel that everybody forgets 
what you have done and nobody reads, and if have 
read, forgets also. The time goes and this unrecognition 
hurts you all the time, when you go to the city or read newspapers 
and then you return home, it is more and more difficult 
to restore your equilibrium, calmness and so on. 
Strange dreams. Then you work, write and translate.


JEWISH WOMEN FROM ABROAD

Jewish women from abroad 
Searching for synagogue 
In trolleybus where 
To leave 
On the next stop 
Thank you 
Synagogue is closed 
After Jews conflict 
What they will 
Find? 
Jewish women from somewhere 
I don't asked 
Searching for synagogue 


MANNERHEIM STREET

Mannerheim street 
Broad perspective 
Opens view of the city 
Mannerheim street  
So familiar again 
Runs tram 
Till bereavement. 
Mannerheim street 
Cry to past 
Call to nonbeing 
Stab of tram  
Till the heart  

GREBENSHTCHIKOV'S  CITY

It's calling us eternal city of Boris Grebenshtchikov – 
Jerusalem mistaken in the sky – 
And Garden fragrant with the olives and the honey, 
Three sisters and Chinese pagoda. 
Becoming closer all the sky, 
And shine the stars promising tomorrow, 
And that who will awake alone tonight  
Will hear – "Aquarium" is calling – 

It's calling us eternal city of Boris Grebenshtchikov, 
St. Peterburg's fancies and the dreams – 
Please Hurry! – you are invited into him – 
Its Spirit flaming is eternally. 

And be afraid touch him – 
Because he scald you to the death.


* * *

Well well well – everything is ok  
Quite ok everything is ok.  
Do you know what is essence of life?  
Do you know what is a meaning of life?  
Do you know anything about me?  
Do you know where the river begins  
Where the essence explodes  
Where the future survives?  
Do you know anything about me,  
Anything about love   
Anything at all  
Do you know?  
Say it to me  
And I'll love you forever again  
Do you know why I'm loving you  
Why I'm stealing a time  
Why I'm finding the truth?  
Let everything will be changed  
Let everything will be saved  
Let everything will be fight! 
Well well well – everything is ok.


JAPANESE PLAYER

I am with you 
In dark night time 
Attention  
Waiting for nobody 
Left by many 
Or by a few 
Who will find 
Solution 
In all your debts 
In all your totally  
Loneliness 
Who will say 
What to do 
In all your 
Situation? 
Totally alone 
Everywhere 
Now not self 
Dependent 
Dependent on 
Others 
Japanese guitar 
Player 
In a black 
Playing in a church 
Of St.Catherine 
In old baroque 
Church 
Who will 
Find solution 
Who will say 
Your name 
When you die 
Who will bury you? 
Black Japanese player 
Playing on a guitar 
In old Catherine church


UNKNOWN MESSENGERS IN 
KYLASAARENKATU/VILLAGE ISLAND 
STREET

Well known cities 
Polished features 
Till the death 
Unknown messengers 
In the darkness 
Despair 
Good bye he is saying 
To girl 
She is in California 
And don't wants to 
Hear about him 
But memory not allows 
To leave her 
Or stay without ~ 
Where to go 
Whom to ask 
What the sense 
Of changes 
Choices to leave 
For nobody's fate 
In the city 
Near the sea 
Summer is now 
Brass orchestra 
From St. Petersburg 
Playing in the street 
Money oh money 
Sokurov too 
Is coming to show 
His films 
About Russia and Hitler 
For him is waiting 
Madhouse 
He is refugee 
From woman 
In Vilnius 
Who later successfully 
Closed 
Him by force 
In revenge 
And anger 
Where to go 
Where to stay 
Everything is forbidden 
Only in Strindberg's cafe 
Or Mannerheim street 
Lasipalatsi/Glasspalace 
Or Kasma 
Monument to Sibelius 
In the outskirts of Helsinki 
Kylasaarenkatu – 
Village island street 
Where he is going 
By tram 
Without ticket 
With fear to 
Be caught 
He has refuge 
So short 
Contrast of the 
Centre 
And proletarian 
Suburbs 
So familiar from 
Vilnius 
Let's come 
Your Kingdom 
Before dawn 
I am still running 
To my country 
Unable to 
Return – 
By village 
Island street 
Or listening Derrida 
In university 
Wagner's Valkiries 
In Opera house 
Watching 
Malevitch in museum – 
Sitting in 
Strindberg's cafe 
With friends 
Unable to return 
Closed till the 
Death 
In Finland 
Refugee forever


THERE IS NO WAY OUT!

There is no way out, – 
Where you are seeking for something 
In the dark night 
Time 
There is no way out – 
Where you are striving 
For something 
In the dark night's 
Time 
There is no way out 
Because all ways 
Of our imagination 
Had gone far 
Astray 
Because all our emotions 
Had fade away 
Because all our strength 
Has gone somewhere, 
There is no way out. 
But you know baby 
In the dark night's time 
You are as a baby 
There still are 
Some dreams which are 
Left 
For you: 
The one dream 
About love and 
Eternal life 
The other dream – 
Of you 
And the third – 
About God: 
Also you see some 
Blossoms in the 
Early morning 
Also you see 
Summer fields 
Early fields 
Early morning lit by 
Sun 
And the sea. 
There is no way out.


* * *

Who is this man 
Sitting near the round table 
Near candle and the Christmas tree? 
Who is this man 
In his 48, 
Left by woman 
Alone 
Who had translated D. Hume into Lithuanian 
Who is this man? 
Who has translated famous T. Hobbes's "Leviathan", 
Practically impossible to imagine such fate! 
But it is such actually! 
The fate of the very big outsider 
He is alone. 
Amongst his dreams 
In this unexplainable reality 
Alone as are those big outsiders, 
As Spinoza, Van Gogh, others 
Shunned by society 
Who had created for it so much 
But misunderstood, underestimated, neglected. 
Absolutely alone 
As a slave of this society, terrible land 
Called Lithuania.


DORIS

/A letter/

Everything what we 
Have seen 
In this life 
Everything demands no 
Answer 
Everything what we 
Have heard 
In this life – 
Demands no 
Question 
Everything what we 
Have dreamed 
About 
Demands no 
Profit 
Everything is changed 
To little money, 
But the main reason 
Is quest of 
Eternity


LONGING FOR TALLINN, LONGING FOR YOU

Doris, tu nežinai, kaip 
aš pasiilgau Tavęs: 
Doris, you don't know, 
How much I'm longing for you 
For your letters, voice 
And appearance 
For Tallinn 
Sometimes for your verses 
Time is going on 
You had said that I was one 
amongst many of your acquaintances 
on phone, when I called from Baltic jaam 
I'm here terribly lonely 
I'm alone 
No friends, no vision of future, 
No sense of 
Life. 
Time is going. 
Terrible time. 
I remember 10 years ago 
I remember you in Tallinn 
You were in red, 
Two years ago in green, 
It was really nice time 
And conversation 
In some small cafe, 
Ten years passed, 
I'm not so enthusiastic 
On freedom 
(And other things) 
As you 
You remember, I 
was pessimistic then 
And I'm quite 
Pessimistic now. 
I think, that fight for 
Freedom has only 
Began. 
It is important not only 
Absence of occupation 
It is something more. 
And I'm quite pessimistic. 
What it means to be wise? 
Doris, you don't know 
How I'm longing for you. 

Yours, Kęstutis

Kęstutis Rastenis was born in Utena, Lithuania. In 1968 he finished Tauragnai secondary school. In 1973 graduated from Vilnius university history department. In 1978 completed doctorship studies in history of philosophy in Institute of Philosophy, Sociology and Law. He was working in Mintis publishing house as senior scientific editor. First poems were published in Lithuanian magazine in 1967. Rastenis is a member of Lithuanian Writers' union. He translated from English into Lithuanian philosophical books: An Inquiry Concerning Human Understanding by D. Hume, Leviathan by T. Hobbes, Nations and Nationalism by E. Gellner, and others.