Some recent epiphanies in Joseph's life

Recent epiphanies

Old epiphanies

"One of the good things about Tyler leaving is, we get to go see Tarzan. [Tyler hates anything Disney...] One of the bad things is, I miss him." -- Joseph, Sept 99

A recent dialogue:
   Joseph [cuddling]: "My mommy! Nobody elses...not even Tyler's!"
   Mommy [somewhat aback]: You know Joseph, I never *was* Tyler's mommy...
   Joseph [looking me straight in the eye and looking a bit serious]: "Yeah, that's the big joke, isn't it?"
I was somewhat hesitant to ask him *exactly* what he meant by this. Maybe sometime when he can read this page, he'll remember and tell me.

On our trip to DC in August 1997, Joseph was struck at the contrast between our tree-lined, park-heavy streets in Eugene, and the high rise sterile urban environment of DC. "No wonder they make stupid laws about trees here, mommy." quoth he, "There are no trees here!" Out of the mouths of babes...

Joseph has been acting out and/or up a lot lately, and forgetting rules he's known for months and years. When I asked him why he thought this was, he told me, "I think you need to take away my legos and my war toys." Now, we aren't big on traditional modern realistic war toys, but Joseph has a toy castle and knights, some spaceship toys, and his paternal relatives get him lots of action figure batman protoconsumer bait.

So we've been talking to him about this. It is true that every lego creation lately has "shooters" on it. But this is normal fantasy life for a small boy, I imagine.

When we were in Chapel Hill last summer, an older sufi gentleman at Silk Road Teahouse gave Joseph a bullet he had in his pocket to play with. I pointed out to Joseph that it was harmless without a gun, but that it was meant to kill people, and he and I discussed this.

The man pointed out to me that you can't really fight the impulses of small boys to act out conflict, and it's more important to teach children to be peaceful, than to attempt to stop them from playing war.

This seems true to me.

Tyler managed to show Joseph how, if you can make any toy into a "war toy" with your imagination, you can also make any war toy into a peaceful thing (the knights are having a picnic, or a costume party, the spaceship is delivering mail,...). This seemed to free Joseph up from worrying about war toys.

He's still forgetting rules tho...

Happy New Year! I'm THIS MANY! (Joseph, they can't see your fingers over the net...) I'm FREE!

Epiphanies from '96

• Babies grow in your tummy, like watermelons if you swallow a seed, so Joseph's decided to eat a baby so he can grow one in his tummy and he can poop it later. (I swear, this had nothing to do with me. He's picking it up on the streetcorners!)
• If you can't get an adult's attention, tell them you have a secret to tell them, then whisper. They have to lean down to hear you, and then you've got their attention and they're *yours*. Bwa-ha-ha!
• It's fun having visitors, and they can help with your legos, but the Tyrannasaurus Rex puppet is sacred. Happily, visitors understand. A sophistocated young man serves peanuts in his room to charm his female companion.
• At three, one is too big to take a bath with Mommy. She takes up too much room, and there's not enough room for toys.
• If you don't like the way something tastes, it's "spicey." Even if it's vanilla soymilk.

Epiphanies from '95

• "Reading" is the process of converting letters into stories. He is suddenly interested in learning the difference between letters. His favorite abecedary is "The ABC Bunny" by Wanda Ga'g.
• He wants a tent for his half-birthday (july 4) so he and Tyler and Bear and I can go "Camping in the Woods!"
• Training pants are messier than diapers, but easier to get on and off. Yes, folks, it's toilet training time! Oh, joy...
• Dogs eat things that people don't like. Some of them don't taste good, and some are dirty, and some of them just aren't good for you. Frisbees, for an example.
• You need keys if you want the car to move. Mommy won't give you the keys until you're 16. At least.
• Kittens are babies. They don't always pee in the right place, and they knock things down, and they cry a lot. You need to be very gentle with them, or they won't want to play. You need to move slow, because you're so much bigger than them, they might get scared.
• Sleeping with a girl can keep you from getting to sleep. You should never have to sleep with anyone you don't want to sleep with. Says Joseph: "It was too weird." (We had friends with their 4-year-old girl, over for dinner, and the kids decided it would be fun to bed down together -- for about 10 minutes...)