THIS IS NOT A TEST

I believe people are worth helping. I am going to relieve a lot of stress in your life, and you may even find that your life gets better in ways you had forgotten it could. No, no, there is need to thank or pay me, this is free. Gratis. Make Mp3s of it, tell a friend, whatever.
Ready?
OK.

You don't need anything a computer has to offer you. Nothing. Society survived pretty well long before transistors and capacitors gave us easy porn and recipes, why is everybody buying computers? Because some guy on TV says that a computer is important to own? I see people spending hundreds - or thousands - of dollars on a computer so they can read email from people they don't want to talk to, and buy shit they'll never use.

I find it depressing. I am sick of seeing people just click. click. click. click. Right along with the seconds of existence ticking away, tick. tick. tick. It sucks, and I hate that it happens to people. I am challenging you. Summon up some guts, grow some cajones.

Close this browser. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Play your instrument. Play some basketball. Read a book. Ride your bike. DO SOMETHING!! Even if it's just today, get off your ass and do it. You may have forgotten how much you enjoy the things you used to do. That is, before web pages of badly Photoshopped dancing chickens became the focal point of your existence. Not just the big things, even - no, make that especially - the stupid, mindless shit. I bet you barely remember it. But try it. If you decide this is where you need to be, then come and back and click your life away until your finger melds with the mouse in digital nirvana. No hard feelings, no money spent, no skin off anybody's back.

But remember, every hour spent staringat the web is an hour gone. One day, we'll have no hours left. Is this what you want to spend your hours doing? I just wanted to remind you of that, because it's easy to let it slip away sometimes. Computers make it even easier.

Feel like flaming me? Go ahead, please do, advertise your obviously superior intellect by arguing with a web page.

Frankly, I don't give a flying monkey fart what you do.

But you should.

If you reached this page in error, or through a search engine, too fucking bad, deal with it.