1 Both sides state their problem. Use ‘I am,feel, need.....because...statements — acknowledge their side
2
Let them talk and....Listen carefullyDon’t Interrupt, give eye contact, convey that you really are listening, by paraphrasing any unclear or heavy feelings, needs, emotions, etc
3
Ask clarifying questions about goals & motives; potentials for solutions: ‘What if’ question
4
Stay in the present or the futuremore than the past to clarify solutions. avoid demands, shoulds, have to, must &
negatives: can’t, didn’t, shouldn’t, isn’t, won’t
5
Stay on the topic, focus you agreed to work on
6
Look for areas of common experience & agreement
7
If discussion goes negative, blaming, mad, etc breathe deeply, take a break or withdraw, First set a date for the next discussion
8
Mutual restatement of the problem
9
All requests for change need to be stated
in behavior & space terms.Actions & limits desired to solve the problem .
10
Body language - reading signals & meaning nowWhat is my body communicating.
Other Conflict Consideration
s
* Create commitment to build trust together to cooperate now
* Have in mind priority interests to share when communicating
* Keep relaxed to listen actively & express responsible feelings
* Make a list of intereststs -
*
Ask questions....allot, revealing empathy for their position
* Use humor & laff freely at yourself or others, no sorry
for joy
* speak & act from integrity, toward openess & balan
ce space