PRIMAL VISION QUESTING in Aquarius energy waves

Virgo health, Libra relations

The Universes of energy & spirit have fascinated me from ‘69 when i began meditating on candles, Omming & breath. My normal needy childhood & early adulthood melted into cosmic soup. The spirit of Love called & i answered with total devotion after Gwen left with our 2 boys. My parents never understood me after that & quickly learned Yoga from TV easily relaxed, healed my stress & deepened meditation. I keep learning daily, but my Aquarian(moon) nature prevented me from long joining any group. I followed the visions of Bucky Fuller, Aliester Crowley, Meher Baba, Gurdjieff, Rajneesh & Rebirthing for a few yrs.

In ‘76 i got my natal-astrology chart from Peter Hart, a family friend. But at 32, i only learned my Libra Sun, & moon, 7 planets in AIR, explaines my lifelong air-headiness, dominating my growth. My visions of inner & out space began with smoking pot, meditating & LSD visions. Moments of bliss grew from early ‘70s into minutes in Tantra & healing work, into hours in ‘90s athe beach, in the sun & my bush-hammock & breathing yogas. The ecstasy is like the wind, unpredictable, flowing & stops whenever, i start thinking or moving off center.

In years of psychedelic yoga i discussed visions with 100s of souls, to learn what they felt & saw. In simple friendship, even with open strangers, my love for deep honesty prevails, now more in nature, than family i was into for 10 yrs. In mid-80s i began to study astrology daily with the Pocket Astrologer, to learn how current transits effect my life & others who i learned about. In 1989 i got on SSI & went to India in ‘90(a 19 yr goal) to meet families, gurus, kids & clear up some old past karma i felt before going. That was further inspired by Yogananda, Dadaji, Ramakrishna & the City of Joy book about gettos of Calcutta. In the Year of the Horse it was a busy tour from Calcutta thru 5 states, a few families, temples, the Monsoon, Dadaji, Karala & the Theosophical society in Madras. See my story “The Psychedeclicate Cow” for details.

Returning from India i went into seclution camping out in Leilani Puna jungle at Steves a few months to sort out my life, heal my body & do intense astrology research & writing. That’s evolving still, doing 100s of charts of friends, families & newage pioneers i like, love & learned from. This grew into writing 5 small(1 huge?) astrology books of natural elemental Aquarian COZMAstrology, a new synthesis, i self pub. on Kauai & Maui ‘95-7.

Virgo self healing crises has continued since childhood, as i have 3 planets in Virgo, Mercury, Juptier & Chiron i learned about in Puna, thanx to Norma Ream the resident Chironic astrologer in Hawaii. So from Puna i moved to Kau, So.Pt. to learn & do Permaculture on the Martins land in Mark Twain in a neat shack on 2 acers i worked & loved there intensely doing Kids Lib study, writing & networking Hawaii & the mainland. It was a healthy, vital & solitude space faze for creating there, i learned how astrology works in creating our potentials to grow thru our unique chart(karma map) interacting with daily transity in constant flux of energy patterns.

My air=head challenge is to ground my body on earth, heal my body & enjoy the needs of others karma. So i’ve lost many teeth from overeating(mom trained me SWELL to not waste or starve). Many accident, teeth & skin(capricorn)problems have plagued me to keep focusing on my body intake & elimination. I had many teeth filled, pulled & break away, often doing self hypnosis to let it go, until i quit dentist in 93. I’ve only fasted on liquids when very sick ; used many herbs, Tea Tree oil, eat lots of seaweeds daily, invented YELP a yummy seasoning of Br.yeast, kelp powder & other spices(garlic, onion, ginger, cayanne & spirulina powders in various combinations. Learning natural food combining continues to challange me as my needs change daily. In Hawaii i began making & using Bionic(bentonite)clays & mud for natural healing & to balance my minerals, a lifelong problem. However learning Permaculture was easy, simple & natural, i can even teach it with grace.

I easily went vegetarian in ‘71, transfering my desire for heavy foods of meat to breads, granola & peanuts/butter became addictions for 10 years, until i learned i am allergic to wheat, cooked nuts/butters & most flours, made me transition into more organic, raw-foods & even eating fish, mostly raw, which began in India, since their plant foods are so weak in nutriants, from depleted soils. Instincto is the newage way of eating all raw-foods by natural senses daily feeling whats my needs are. I been testing it, as organic healing, for few years, & combine it with cooked foods on some days.

I love to bathe, shower, dip & rinse off my hands, face & feet 2-5/day. In India even more at 90-100 F. I Iove most animals(esp. cats, birds, dogs, butterflys, lizards) plants & bugs, rarely killing them. I refuse to mow lawns, use chemicals & most motors living in nature whenever possible. I love using my hands to massage my body, ride my bike, mend my clothes, & even make my sleeping bag. I often pick my food fresh from nature to eat herenow. Heaven on earth is alive.

LIBRA relating with openess, honesty, trust & willing to make & keep agreements(change)as needed, maybe commited to!? Libra is the cosmic syn of harmony, cooperation & balancing is our challenge & abilities to intiated contact, trust building & intimacy or commitment to a cause of mutual, family or community concerns. Like the need & struggles for equality between sexes, races & ages of people in our culture, family or state. The democratic U.S. Constitution is both Aquarian & Libran in nature, idealistic & spirited, that we so naively tried to work with in competitive schools, politics, legal matters & even business.

The womens lib movement is the most sucessful in economics, sex & parenting(birth, bonding & teaching)in many ways. There are 1,000s of women dance, yoga, massage, health, music & art teachers in the U$ now. Women can achieve in marketplace moore now, like the blacks demanding equal access to opportunities, the whiteman gave them jobs, after the civil war & black getto riots, sucking negros into toxic factories. Now they go to college, managment & ‘pro’ status, but still hi-tech consumers, getting whiteman’s pollution, junk, diseases, conflicts & crime waves of fear & violence. I ignore most of this culture wars of oppression/control dramas, as its each souls Karma, not my personal responsiblity to prevent, help or save them.

My cooperative nature awoke in 1970-1 with 2 boys, while taking the democractic parenting & cooperative family counseling grad school course for a year, a practicum’ where we practice counseling families who volunteer to be counseled in front of our class of 100+. It was open to the community for free & many students got credit(I did)for passing it. We also used videotape replays of our sessions to learn more & the parents could see it if they choose to. About then my need for deeper love awakened, in heavy contrast to dead love for wife Gwen. So I started by seeking new women friends & lovers, openly telling Gwen about it. Dying in a nuclear family unit, closed to the neworlds of Aquarius was very depressing, like my wasted childhood consuming junk to fill the hole, needing close contact.

Freelove, a concept began to have potential about 1969, as many hippy communes allowed & supported open pairing & marriage, a bond of agreement. It enchanted me from ‘70 on as distant possibility. Only hints came thru the underground about freelove, mostly in Cali. it seemed. Acid rock music hinted at freelove & SF hippies around Haight-Ashbury(Dead, Airplane, Byrds, etc)suggested it. But Stephen Gaskin was the first hippy acid guru of free Zen spirit that actually tot it openly. But he left SF in a Caravan of hippy buses, when his book Mon. Nite Class became an Aquarian classic of freedom. It inspired me, learning that women have power in loving intimacy. My first lover athe Ore. Country Fair(OCF) was a freespirit treehouse lilving young woman from Takilma/Cave Jtn. SW Ore. We were together a few days, before i hitched east to find truth & love. It took 2 years before any Tantra.

Taking psychedelics has turned me on in meditating mostly, as a tranced on pot early(from ‘67), so waited 4 yrs to take LSD which i intuited would melt my ego down, open me up & scare me at once. It did that when i was ready to change, but Gwen wasn’t, hanging onto herself. From ‘70 i get stoned on a few puffs of weed, leaf or shake, rarely bud is too strong & addicting, no need. So ‘tripping’ monthly or so in different places & people relearned my senses, habits & beliefs. Later i tried peyote some, magic mushrooms & cooked marijuana many times, breaking thru some barrier, fear or need to be aware natuarally, usually learning a deep lesson about body, nature & others.

However i’d get hi just bathing, meditating, sexing, yoga, chanting or whatever in nature. Usually go into nature to take psychedelic vision questing soul. My great old need for mother i transfered to women, the goddess & many lovers into neoTantra, or just a good fuck, with massage, OK? lets trade essential contact. The “I seem to be a verb” radio series i co-produced at KZEL- FM in Eugene ‘71, sold to KSAN FM a rad radio station in SF in ‘73 & played weekly for months i ‘74.

Universing Center formed at my home athe Eugene Rose-garden. Lili & i were arrested for nudity (doing yoga)in the park off the trail. We were ticketed by cops & had a jury trail 11 mons. later. We were aquited (innosent) as it was/is our spiritual practice the jury supported. Our family outgrew my big room, doing primal scream we had to move out, into a friends garage. Soon we 5 (Jude &Chelsea-2, Lili, John, Lary & me)rented a big duplex house in Eugene hills by Hendricks park. After that intense bonding phase a few month we got an old bus, remodeled it & went on the road to N.Cali. We were very active in NW newage groups, gatherings & networking both Oregon & N.Cali.from fall ‘73 into ‘76 in SF, as the newage sprouted there more organized than Oregon.

1975 was my worst year in health, as i pigged out on sugar secretly away from family, puked up & went home. It gave me boils, i couldn’t feel till my foot was broken, run-over by a car at hi speed by the freeway while hitching after 3 ice-cream cones. So i got a ride home, bleeding & fasted for a week on herb teas & another on fruit smoothies, self healing slowly, while sleeping out & nursing my injury. My yoga faded & love lost. Was arrested twice, first one into jail overnite for not paying child-support, like welfare(supporting them) demanded. Gwen went to the DA & court to have me convicted, our bad karma! The first trial i was aquited on legal-grounds; rearrested & retried & convicted ont he same charge onto 3 yrs probation. In the fall i split those legal controls, going under-ground in HA, SF neighborhood, where hippies were young, spirited, semi-natural sufi & free to love or cooperate, learn & play.

I indulged & worked for Ecotopian goals in action, natural healing, freelove & localizing our community, not political protests; needing to heal my body & doing some fun gorilla theater, not making money. The new fields of holistic healing of: Rolfing, Zen Shiatzu massage, cosmic art, Rebirthing, Rajneesh meditations & groups, shaman trips, Touch for Health & Polarity therapy all grew there. So i learned & healed some in each for months, continuing my yoga at home. Our Aquarian family the Universing Center split into Eugene & mostly SF bay area, where i moved to volunteer helping organize the Neworld & Unity(newage)fairs of natural spiritual healing, groups & artists of peace, love & freedom. I often stayed at Jehanahs in HA,SF who shared various Ecotopian projects, networking & the Ecotopia radio drama program we did with 5 others. A big newage wedding between Li Everbe & me happened at Project Artaud in SF in ‘76. But we were distant by then & it sealed our divorse, ending Universing Center family. In ‘77 she totally went to Puna India to join BS Rajneesh, doing ‘breath & energy’ healing groups for years before they moved to E.Oregon, ‘81. She was my first tantric healing lover for 2+ years.

It took 15 years to learn to love babies like mothers do touching much, feeling relaxed & learning together herenow. That essential family bonding happened thru living in healing trust with Kalah, Zak & Jahna, the father of all 4 of their boys. I lived with them, on & off from 84 to 90. In Ore. N.Cali. & Hawaii, Puna. We did lots of Yoga, dancing, deep massage, Primal screaming, Rebirthing, camping-out & some groups of others at home & healing gatherings. They gave me the bonds i never had at home with family, kids or lovers before, healing my heart of the old unmet need for love in moms bed, was ‘baby lets go to bed, OK?’ lust. Loving water, saunas, steam, hotsprings, hotubs, long hot baths & hours of cuddling all rebonded me to them & my heart. It inspired the Kids Lib movement i did at home & promoted for 10 years. Strangly my parents even gave us/me some money thru hard/needing times. In 1985 they supported me with $100/month, even tho they hardly saw or knew me. Thank god for the mystery sources from good-karma? Then in ‘89 i got on SSI, after 4 tries, thank goddess Pele, Kalah & Cheryl supporting me.

Kalah & Zak went to PUna, Hawaii in fall of ‘85 with John Douglas where i & later Jahna went in ‘86 to join them. But she had other lovers by then & i toured big isl. enthralled by the lush rainforest tropics, WOW! I returned to Mendacino, CA to work & play athe 1st anual N.Cali Natural healing gathering at Greenfield ranch where he lived, ya hu. Kalah, Zak, Jahna & another lover all returned there later & i joined them to live there, in an old barn house we cleaned-out & fixed up. But neighborelations were strained & they moved to other land & i left in March for Oregon.

Spring, summer & fall were beautiful in the NW. Kalah & Jahna got pregnant again, so they moved to Eugene to birth at her mothers house, in the bath tub with Jahna assisting the waterbirth. The baby boy Ram Jamal came out perfectly & we regrouped in family, renting the Orchard St. house between UO campus & Hendricks park, after the Harmonic Convergence, in AUg. That was very dramatic, stressful, healing, creative & before it split up in early ‘88. Then K.J.Z & RJ moved to Hawaii in spring & i in fall joining them at the BAbaji temple house in the bush near Mtn.View Puna. She was more grounded & peaceful there, so got pregnant again & had Luna(Pices boy) in a small hotub we built for the birth, with Jahna again catching & assisting her. Jahna & i both moved in & out for months. In spring of ‘90 we moved 7 miles to a smaller house more land, with Cheryl & her 2 young girls. We set up 2 more homes, by dome & her outback low shack. After a few months i got enuf money to tour India, to complete more Karma sweaty yoga.