When I first learned that my prostate cancer was in its terminal stage, my friend Tripp Sommer at KLCC asked me if I'd consider doing a sort of post mortem program, a good-bye that would be aired after my death. Well, I've said several times that my voice is such a strong part of me that I expect it to go booming on after I die. So why not?
Ever wonder about messages from the "great beyond?" I grew up in the era of spirit rapping and seances. I didn't believe in them then, and I don't believe in them now, but through the wonder of radio, you are now actually experiencing such and event.
If I can indulge in a bit of whimsy, I'd like to report to you as if I were able to communicate from wherever I am right now. This is my own personal belief system I'm talking about, and here's how it goes.
There's nothing here. No angels, no harps, no St. Peter's gate, no long-dead relatives, nothing. There's no spirit guide, no light at the end of the tunnel, no reincarnation of any kind. What's most important to me, there's no "ME". The piece you're hearing was written as I was sitting in my wonderful recliner, back in October, 1996, with a beautiful Vivaldi piece in the background, with our 90-pound malamute, Babe, inelegantly scratching her ear, and with Carol just outside in the greenhouse picking some more flowers to brighten up the house.
People tell me, "Well, you really don't know, do you, until you've been there." Well, in my flight of whimsy, I say I'm here, and there ain't no here here. As my friend Gary Koyen says, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."
Life is what it's all about! We're born. We die. What happens between those two momentous bookends is what matters. Every second we spend thinking about or worrying about other lives -- past or present-- is a second we're not living in the moment. When I think about the richness, the complexity of my life, I wonder where some people get the energy or the time to investigate their past lives or to speculate on lives to come.
Before I died, I truly enjoyed living in my own heaven. I'll admit I had something to do with creating this heaven, which was as close to a "heavenly reward" as I ever wanted to come. My goal, at least since I began to "grow up" at the age of 40, was to live my life in such a way that it would enrich the lives of others. I didn't live for other people, I lived for me. And I learned that if I did that honestly and gracefully, other people seemed to benefit.
My hope was that my physical condition would allow me to follow this principle right up to the moment of my death. I know that my needs created a strain on my various caregivers, and in this, my last Elderberry Wine, I want to express my deep gratitude to those who stuck with me. My immortality lies in you who are listening and in you who have listened to and known me. I will live on in you and in all your ripples.
This is Peter Wotton with Elderberry Wine, my last salute to the older people in our community. And my message for now and for all time is: Good bye, my dear, dear friends!
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